Some of my friends say there is no Seagrass Monster.
Please tell me the truth; is there a Seagrass Monster?”
Virginia (and pretty much the entire east coast)
Virginia, (and pretty much the entire east coast) your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds.
Yes, Virginia, (and pretty much the entire east coast) there is a Seagrass Monster. It exists as certainly as mud on anchors and dropped dinghy painters exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its greatest scourge and Bain. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Seagrass Monster. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginia. (and pretty much the entire east coast) There would be no reason to quickly drop anchor then, no cursing, no throwing objects to make tolerable this existence. We should have no frustration, except in port. The eternal light with which engine lazarettes fill the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Seagrass Monsters! Yes Virginia, (and pretty much the entire east coast)
seagrass monsters DO exist. They live in the bowels of our sea strainer, and cut off our circulation to our pumps. They cause our engine to overheat, and we must lay down our anchor and clear our basket. But the worst plague of mankind is visited upon us when the temperatures soar into the three digit numbers and the seagrass monster comes upon our air conditioning strainers without warning. We are instantly plunged into despair, as temperatures and tempers sour in unison, while struggling to free strainers and capture the seagrass monster before warmness overtakes us.
Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, (and pretty much the entire east coast) in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Seagrass Monster?! It lives, and it lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, (and pretty much the entire east coast) nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, it will continue to plague the heart of boaters.